JulNoWriMo starts at 12.01 tonight! I'm somewhat excited. I feel it's exactly the motivation I need to get me to my end goal. I have 38k done, and I need to do 50k for the WriMo, so that will bring me just about to my 90k goal. I've given myself 8 more weeks to complete the first draft and if I manage it in the 4 weeks of WriMo, I'll be chuffed. Of course, 90k is only an estimation and right now it's looking like it's going to be way longer (with a lot of cutting and slicing going on in the re-writes), but shh. Let's pretend I don't know that.

Excerpt (first draft, terribly-written, etc):

He caught her hand between both of his and held it close to his chest. "Let's go out," he said, thumb rubbing against hers. "This project's all about the Embarian Crystals, right? You haven't even seen them."

He didn't give her chance to protest. He jumped up and pulled on her arm. Before she knew it she was back in the couch in the chilly air, off on a spontaneous field trip.

They left Merinum behind and headed out into the wide expanse of empty fields. The couch jolted and bumped over the uneven terrain; they bounced up and down in their seats, all attempts at conversation rendered impossible. Dillon did not touch her again – he barely even looked at her. Eden was too busy clinging on for dear life to worry too much about it.

Eventually something grew in the distance, something other than bare fields. It began as a bright green speck, like a gemstone in an expensive ring, that expanded and grew the closer they got to it. They pulled up to a set of five giant green crystals. They each sat wider than a bus and three times as tall, set in a perfect circle and surrounded by a transparent shield that glimmered with a thousand faint colours. The crystals themselves gave off a glow that was almost blinding, so stunning and massive Eden was awed, beyond words. It was without doubt the most incredible sight she had ever seen and for a while she sat and did nothing but stare, with Dillon content to let her do so.

The crystals hummed, a gentle sound that rose and fell, as if singing their own special tune. The ground surrounding the crystals seemed to breathe, rippling like waves or the curving body of an elegant feline.

"They're beautiful," Eden murmured, unable to tear her eyes away. "I've never seen anything like it."

Dillon didn't respond, but he took her hand, held it gently on the seat between them. His palm was warm against hers and after a moment he linked their fingers together. Eden gave a soft squeeze to let him know it was okay and together they sat in silence and stared at the spectacle of astounding natural magic before them.

Ever wake up, look at your WIP, and think, "What am I doing? This is all shit! I couldn't string a sentence together if my life depended on it!"

I'm having that day today. *sigh* But I'll push through it, as I always do, because I have a goal to meet and I'll be damned if I let something as stupid as self-doubt beat me. I'm at 30k, one-third through -- the end still feels like a distant dot on the horizon. It's not tangible; it doesn't feel reachable. But of course I'll get there eventually. It's logic. I just wish it felt more achievable.

On a lighter note, I'm wading through the plot now. Things have been happening, tension's rising, hearts are racing. That's good. I feel less like I'm meandering along in a story that can't really be arsed, and more like I'm being proactive and fucking up the lives of my MCs. So, yay.

An excerpt (rough draft, poorly-written, etc):

Note: (password) and (streetname) are things that I obviously haven't named yet. I didn't want to get stuck with sitting around inventing these things when I could be moving on with the story. I'll go back in the re-write and figure these things out. For now, just ignore it. :-)

*

The guy leaned in and said against his ear, "There's a club in (street name). I'll see you there. Oh," he added, leaning closer still until Alex could feel the cold metal of his lipring against the shell of his ear, mingled with the warm breath that fluttered against his skin. "And it's (password)." With that, he released Alex and walked after the retreating figures of his friends.

"What was that about?" Eden asked, face still not quite free of residual anger.

"We're going to (street name)."

"Oh, are we really?" Eden said loftily. "And I suppose you know where that is?"

"Nope," said Alex, "but we'll find it."

"Oh, don't fill me in or anything. Just drag me around. Sodding men. You're in constant competition to see who can be the most moronic."

They tried seven different people who, with alarm in their eyes, claimed to not know what they were talking about. Then they came to an interesting-looking toothless and handless elderly gentleman who silently pointed with his stump to an alley that twisted off the right side of the square, hidden between two shops. They thanked him awkwardly and crossed to the narrow alley, Eden keeping up a litany of expletives against the male species.

The alley was long and empty, and at the end of it was a very tall gate that didn't budge when Alex pushed against it.

"Great," said Eden. "A dead end. Can we give up this random quest now? It's getting late and we have school in the morning."

Alex looked at her, eyes wide with mock surprise. "Mum? Is that you?"

She punched him on the arm. He ignored her and knocked on the gate. There was a brief wait, during which Eden stared at him like he was an idiot, then a hatch in the middle of the gate slid aside and a deep, growly voice barked, "What is it?"

Alex hesitated. "(password)?"

The hatch closed and the gate opened. Alex shot Eden a cheeky grin.

The guy who spoke to them through the gate had vanished. Once they'd passed through the threshold, the gate closed behind them with am ominous crack.

Neither Alex nor Eden paid attention to it, as they were too busy focusing on the contrast of (street name) to the city square. If Merinum City was the king of Arabyss, then (street name) was surely its scarred and rotten underbelly. The street throbbed with debauchery and decadence. The buildings lining either side of it were cracked and peeled and black with decay. The women walking the street were dressed for a purpose: short skirts, skyscraper heels, blood-stained lips. The men sweated and sucked in their guts; a small group of them stood in the shadow of a weak streetlight, surrounding a woman who sported a mop of greasy blonde curls. One middle-aged gentleman reached for the breast of a passing late-teen in thigh-high boots, a lascivious grin stretching his oily face. She smiled and stepped closer.

Most of the young people were going in the same direction, heading up the street in packs, disappearing into a building on the right. Alex hooked his index finger around Eden's and guided her onwards, following the gangs of teens. They passed an elderly woman dressed in rags, sitting in a boarded-up shop doorway. Her bare feet were blistered and scabbed and one of her eyes was sewn shut. She shook a filthy red pouch at them. "Spare any Kinn?"

Eden pulled in closer to Alex. He shook his head and moved on, almost running into the teen girl with the thigh-high boots. "Sure you've got some for me, sugar," she purred, gloss-red lips parted in a sultry half-smile. He walked past her, ignored her when she tried to hold him still. "You won't find better than me," she called after him. "Screw you then! Freak."

Testing, testing. Hi! :-)